"But can you lose something you believe in? The thing that gives you the strength to live, the very thing you breathe for? Can it be lost forever if it had built you, pushed you into the world of love, revealed the limits of shame, and overcoming unfulfilled desires? Can you lose what you don’t want to give up, what you are afraid of but at the same time wish to come true? Can it be lost forever if you don’t know how to lose?
      It unfolded as it was meant to be. Although it was difficult for me to accept that I will no longer be able to visit Magnolia as often as earlier, I was sure of one thing: I will start a whole new life! A life in which false hopes about a stronger relationship will not be planned as a gift but will develop naturally and gradually.
      Without my conscious will, the train seemed to carry the thoughts of Victor somewhere far away into memory. He had a one-way ticket and that didn’t give me peace. Deep inside, I felt that it wasn’t over, that we will meet at least once again, at some moment in life, that we will look each other in the eye and revive our honest and innocent childhood expressions. I didn’t want to believe that the disease took him. Can disease take an innocent, good, honest man who didn’t yet taste life’s happiness?..."


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